oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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