sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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