So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
