Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
