Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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