i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
