I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
