So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
