We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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