I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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