I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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