Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
