we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
