the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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