Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
