she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
