I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
