ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
