Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
