Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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