I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
