Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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