totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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