oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
