Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Randomize