i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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