Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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