On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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