i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
