So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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