girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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