I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My ass is underappreciated
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
