Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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