I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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