This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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