Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
