How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
