there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
