he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
