So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize