i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
