She is in my trunk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm at about main and main street
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
