I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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