Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
