Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
