some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
