If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
