Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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