his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
