he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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