We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
