I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
