Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Farmville is her only friend.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
