So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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