ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
two words...techno handjob
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
