belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
