I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Randomize