so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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