She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
