Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
