we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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