She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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