i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
